The Last Kingdom
“Episode 10”, Season 5 Episode 10
Requested By
No_Thing on our Discord server
What do I know about this series going into it?
Never heard of it. It seems to be a British historical drama, and I think I glimpsed the fact that it’s based on a book series.
Previously On
Uhtred son of Uhtred narrates. King Edward wants to fulfill his father’s ambition to create the kingdom of England; he was told by Aelswith that this destiny.
Uhtred is the ruler of Northumbria.
Somebody will set fire to a church if Constantin’s army appears.
Uhtred and his men climb up a cliff face to rescue somebody.
Edward was impatient and decided to attack the fortress early. “Give us Lord Aethelsomething and Lady Aethsomething or we will attack!” they announce.
Recap
The opening credits show fire spreading across the face of Britain, starting in the southeast and moving north and westward.
We open with the man who delivered the ultimatum to the fortress. As he waits for a response, an arrow is fired at his feet. He returns to King Edward and reports this as a negative response.
“Did you see my father?” somebody asks. The issuer doesn’t respond, which means no.
Meanwhile, inside the fortress, somebody issues an order to another: “Get the girl and parade her from the ramparts”. The issuer is aware that Constantin1 won’t approve of this action, but doesn’t care. They are watched by someone with a helmet, who gives the camera a look; I assume he is loyal to Constantin.
Elsewhere in the fortress, two prisoners suddenly pull out a hidden knife and break free. One is named “Finan” in the captions.
I can already tell that I will have a lot of trouble telling these characters apart. They are all young-ish Nordic-ish men of reasonably the same height and build; they are all wearing generic post-Dark-Ages garb, and there’s only one way I can tell which is King Edward.
In the main hall of the fortress, an advisor is telling the king to “wait for the armies” - I assume reinforcements on the way to save him from King Edward - but the King is having trouble with it. As a matter of honor, he doesn’t want to ignore King Edward’s challenge, one king to another. “I could just hand you over,” the king (I assume Constantine) says.
One of the men from earlier, identified as Lord Whitgar, enters. He asks permission to take Lady Aelfwyn to a more secure, higher area. Constantin agrees - but Whitgar instead takes her out onto the ramparts, to demonstrate to Edward that she is still alive. His henchman even puts a knife to Aelfwyn’s throat.
One of King Edward’s men starts forward, to negotiate for Aelfwyn’s life, but Edward holds him off.
Whitgar, seeing that Edward has refused to take the bait, now goes a step further: “Throw her over, show them we are ruthless.”
That’s when Helmeted Man from earlier grabs Whitgar from behind and puts a knife to his throat. A standoff ensues, but Whitgar waves his henchman down and he releases Aelfwyn. Helmeted Man tells her to run.
It turns out Helmeted Man works for Uhtred, who (as we saw in the Previously) has infiltrated the fortress. Whitgar has guessed this - perhaps he recognizes Helmeted Man - and has started running around the fortress shouting “Uhtred! Uhtred!”
Outside, an intial force from Edward’s army has launched its attack, taking a battering ram to the doors of the fortress. Arrows are fired at them from above. Inside, they prepare and pour boiling tar down upon the ramming team. Whitgar’s subordinate grins wildly and sadistically at their cries of pain, then glimpses the church burning in the distance. “We’re saved!” he cries out.
Through the following conversation, I finally get some context for all of this. Constantin’s advisor is actually Edward’s father, Aethelheim. He is conspiring with Edward to make his grandson Aelfweard - Edward’s son - king in Edward’s place.
Aelfweard, in his naivete, wants to go out and talk to his father, but the others point out that Edward will never trust him again.
Meanwhile, Uhtred sends the only woman on his infiltration team to find Aelfwyn and help her escape.
Yahya, Constantin’s subordinate, comes with news: The reinforcement army has arrived, the burning church having been the signal of their arrival (as I briefly glimpsed but did not comprehend from the Previously). Aethelheim takes this as proof he was always right. He knows Edward well; he is impulsive. As long as they stick to the plan and stay strong, wait for the reinforcements, they cannot lose.
But Constantin decides to get creative. Let’s make Edward even more impulsive: we’ll pretend that we have given up and are abandoning the fortress. Withdraw people from the ramparts and let anybody who wants to leave flee via the sea gate. He’ll launch an attack2 and we can surround him.
Uhtred overhears this and tells his men they need to get to the ramparts, to warn Edward.
Uhtred’s friend, Hild, has found Aelfwyn. They try to make their escape, but run into one of Whitgar’s soldiers. Hild - who had previously spoken that she had sworn never to pick up a weapon again - is forced to kill him against her will.
Back in the throne room, Aethelheim tries to dissuade Constantin from his plan. Just stick to the current plan and we can’t lose! Whitgar enters, and he too is against the idea. Almost in tears, he begs, “Why have you opened the sea gate? My men are fleeing!” Constantin laughs at him.
Uhtred, on the ramparts, can see Constantin’s reinforcements approaching. Scots! If Edward is indeed tempted to attack the fortress, he’ll find himself surrounded: far more men inside than he expects to find, and the Scots launching a simultaneous attack from behind.
I finally learn the name of the fortress: Bebbanburg. I am not going to be able to remember that.
Out in the field, Edward gets the report: the sea gate has been opened, and the men are fleeing. His assistant begs him not to be tempted: “What if the Scots are closer than we think?” But Edward drives him away. “I need soldiers who are with me,” says the arrogant fool who apparently hasn’t posted any scouts watching out for advances from directions other than the fortress.
Uhtred tries to shout from the ramparts: “Do not come forward! Do not shoot!” But Edward’s men don’t recognize him and fire at him, forcing him to take cover.
Edward gives his rallying cry: “Men of Wessex! Men of Mercia! We take Northumbria for England! Advance!” They charge at the fortress.
In the rear camp, however, the Scots have arrived. They take the camp followers by surprise and slaughter Edward’s advisor and everyone else. Nobody even manages to ride a horse off to warn Edward. The Scots then charge at Edward’s army and begin slaughtering the rear ranks too. It takes Edward a ridiculous amount of time to notice that his men are screaming and dying maybe ten yards behind him.
In the courtyard, Constantine offers up a quick prayer, then charges out the front gate in person, leading all of his men. The two armies quickly surround Edward’s army, but rather than surrounding it from both sides, they do a sort of semicircle around it and drive them backwards, towards the enormous seaside cliff.
Uhtred watches from the ramparts, helpless to stop it. But he spots some people in the forest. Who are they? “More Scots?” asks his friend. They decide to head out and investigate.
The rearmost men in Edward’s army begin to fall over the cliff, as the combined Scot and Northumbrian army push on them more and more. A closeup on Edward’s face: he knows he’s going to die. There is a cry of despair as Aldhelm is trampled to death; I don’t know who Aldhelm is.
Uhtred and his men ride horses into the forest and encounter “Stiorra”. The men with her are those she gathered to help Edward, but they arrived too late, which is why they didn’t join the battle. Uhtred begs her to change her mind, name-checking Aethelstan and Sigryggir and other people of significance that I don’t recognize.
“Danes should not die for Saxons,” Stiorra maintains3. Another woman promises to reward Stiorra if she joins the battle. “You can’t promise me anything,” says Stiorra.
“But I can,” says Uhtred. “I was raised a Dane. Folow me and all Danes will live in peace here! Do it not for Saxons, but for your own forebears who came here to make a homeland!” The music swells dramatically to support him.
Thanks to the music, Stiorra has been convinced, and the Scots and Northumbrians are surprised when the Danes show up and attack them from behind. In turning to face the Danes and defend themselves, they have to let up on their assault on Edward; it is now they who are surrounded.
Edward is saved. One of the Scots orders his men to torch the fortress4, but Wihtgar (this is, I think the real spelling; I’ve been spelling it wrong all along) and his men are on the ramparts5 and shoot anyone who tries to approach with that in mind.
Uhtred spots Wihtgar and returns to the fortress6 to challenge him one on one. Wihtgar comes out to face him, but states that he knows he is not Uhtred’s equal at swordsmanship. So he has other men attack Uhtred in his stead while he makes his escape. He is without honor!
Meanwhile, though, the fortress is set on fire.
Another man, who I’ve seen often but whose name I haven’t learned, has cornered Aethelheim in the bowels of the fortress. Aelfweard arrives to save his grandfather, but the attacker insists that Aelfweard would not be defending Aethelheim if he knew what Aethelheim really did.
“What does Aethelstan speak of?” asks Aelfweard, giving me the attacker’s name.
Aethelheim starts to blather, so Aethelstan just comes out with it: He had Aelfweard’s mother killed to start a war with the Danes.
“It’s not true!” Aethelheim insists.
“It’s not?” asks Aelfweard.
“There is a reason,” says Aethelheim. “She was not the target. It was a tragedy.”
“She was killed by men you sent?”
It seems Aethleheim sent men to slaughter some “pilgrims”, not knowing his daughter-in-law was among them. Aelfweard, despondent, drops his sword and walks away, letting Aethelstan do what he likes. But Aethelstan keeps his promise: I said I’d let you live if you told the truth.
Aethelheim, however, immediately kills himself before Aethelstan can stop him.
I know these names are historically accurate but it’s very confusing when everybody’s name starts with Aethel.
Uhtgar corners Wihtgar above the great hall. Wihtgar is accepting of his fate: “Kill me,” he says. “Just as I killed my father, and your son will kill you. That is our bloodline’s destiny.”
Wait, what? Wihtgar is Uhtgar’s father?
Uhtgar agrees and tosses him over the railing and onto a convenient skewer that has been left standing in the middle of a dinner table. He then makes his way into the courtyard and watches as the fortress has begun to burn down. Aethelstan arrives tries to persuade Uhtgar to leave, but he refuses.
“It is my destiny to die in Bebbanburg!” Uhtred exclaims. But God has other ideas, as thunderclouds arrive and a downpour begins, putting out the flames. Uhtgar drops to his knees and sobs; I’m not sure why.
Some time later, Uhtred welcomes Constantin, now his prisoner, to the fortress, where the celebration is under way. He introduces himself as the lord and heir of the lands around Bebbanburg, which Constantin acknowledges. They offer a prisoner exchange: Uhtred has Constanin’s nephew, while Constantin has six of Uhtred’s men. But Constantin issues some veiled threats: These lands are disputed and I could bring more men…
I’m surprised Uhtred doesn’t just retort, “…and I could kill you where you stand”.
Eventually they agree to a longer peace of some kind. Edward, outside the fortress, watches Constantin ride off, who looks at Edward with contempt as he passes.
King Edward enters the fortress, and his mother (the woman who Stiorra refused to believe) announces him. “My son, who has led us to such victory!” He approaches Uhtred and acknowledges his help for the victory, and agrees with Uhtred’s decision that the Danes may live in these lands in peace. He tells Uhtred the lands of Northumbria will be his for generations.
Meanwhile, outside Hild and someone named Osbert are headed to the fortress on foot. She hints that Uhtred is his father.
Back inside, Edward embraces Uhtred and says he will accept his oath later before all, and they will work together to make England whole and keep the Scots out.
But Uhtred has other ideas. In fact, the Scots aren’t interested in these lands anymore, because Constantin has renounced his claim - in return for Uhtred’s pledge not to join Edward’s kingdom. He’ll still pay tribute to Edward, but Northumbria will stand on its own as a buffer between England and Scotland.
Edward feels massively betrayed. What about my plan to unite all of England?
Uhtred explains that Edward has proven, due to his treatment of the Danes, that he can’t be the uniter that he wants to be. One day England will be united, he acknowledges. Just not under Edward.
In a closing voiceover, Uhtred acknowledges that he is a thorn in the side of Wessex and asks some nonsensical questions. “Will blood prevail, or will king slay king once again on the battlefield?”
I am Uhtred son of Uhtred, he says. But hang on, didn’t I discover earlier that his father was Wihtgar?
The episode closes with Uhtred staring out over Babbenburg’s ramparts, crying, under a montage of clips from previous episodes that mostly involved people’s deaths.
Lingering questions
Will Uhtred’s son kill him?
Will Uhtred keep his promise to Constantin?
Will England ever be united?
Ratings
I evaluate the finale-of-the-week from an angle that its writers never intended: how well it works as an individual episode watched in isolation. This will likely differ greatly from how the episode works in its proper context. And it should go without saying that the following does not apply to the series as a whole, which I have not watched.
The rating system is from 0 to 10, where 5 is considered average for television. These are intended to be measurements, not judgements; a low rating may reflect low quality, but it may also reflect a deliberate choice. For example, a strong character piece may have no plot, or a finale may intentionally provide no closure - neither of which makes an episode bad.
Story: 6/10. I loved the sheer number of moving parts in this story, and the storyline avoided many of my expected obvious developments. Uhtred was completely unable, despite his best efforts, to get Edward’s attention and keep him out of the trap. Aethelheim really was right all along and his plan would have worked had Constantin not overplayed his hand. Things like that.
It wasn’t without flaws, though. There was too much reliance on coincidence, like Uhtred spotting Stiorra’s men in the forest. And some developments weren’t fully explained or explored. For example, we don’t see Edward’s men charge at the front gates the first time around; we get a mention from one of Uhtred’s men that “Edward has begun his attack” and cut to them already there.
Writing: 3/10. The writing was pretty awful. The rousing speeches were never very rousing, and the characters spoke to one another in cliches. It seemed to actually get worse as it progressed; the conversations at the beginning were decent, but by the time Edward and Uhtred confronted one another and Uhtred gave his closing voiceover it felt like something ChatGPT could have written in its earliest days. It was like the writers were losing effort and interest as they wrote the episode in real time.
Production: 4/10. The special effects were very good, especially for a Netflix show of its day. The effect of the men approaching and falling off the cliff was well done, as were the makeup and wound effects.
But the acting was decidedly substandard, especially from Uhtred, Edward’s mother, and Stiorra; dull deliveries made bad dialogue seem even worse. And the color grading was the dullest of dull greys and blues.
Characterization: 6/10. This is an interesting trick and it’s very rare. Usually you need either good acting or good writing, preferably both, to deliver good character; I’ve yet to see an episode accomplish it with neither. Because despite everything, I really felt like I got to know Aethelheim, Constantin, Edward, and Wihtgar; perhaps it’s no coincidence that the four did the best acting of anyone in the cast. I could happily watch a series that was centered around those four rather than Uhtred.
Accessibility: 5/10. By the end I did manage to understand almost the entirety of the plot, but God help me if I could match more than five character names to faces. Confusing as all hell and the bad color grading did not help.
Closure: 8/10. Assuming Uhtred really does keep his promise, and assuming Edward is powerless to stop him without risking him allying with the Scots against him, this is a natural end to the series. The montage at the end, badly written as it was, helped seal the deal pretty nicely. There are some loose ends but they’re fairly small.
Do I want to watch the series now?
No. I love costume dramas - I love costume dramas - especially with complex political angles. But unfortunately this one is too badly written and badly acted.
Is there a series finale you’d like me to try? Join our Discord or leave a comment below.
Pronounced “Constantine”, and therefore I might instinctively write it that way by accident occasionally.
A less halfhearted one than the current one, I guess.
So why is she here in the first place?
I didn’t understand at first why Constantin would do this, which is why I didn’t identify him by name - I assumed this was a different character - but in retrospect I figured it out. He knows he’s going to lose now, so he at least wants the fortress to be taken out of play.
Where were they when Uhtred was sneaking out?
How did he not get shot by Wihtgar’s men?
Aethlhelm was Edward's father-in-law. Whitgar was Uhtred's cousin.
Other than those... you got the gist of it.
And yeah, the Aethel prefix is confusing af. My husband couldn't remember any of them, and we both watched the entire series!