John from Cincinnati
“His Visit: Day Nine”, Season 1 Episode 10
Requested By
What do I know about this series going into it?
Never heard of it. While clicking through, the poster shows the bare feet of a man on a beach alongside the lower end of an Atlantean-style trident, making me think it’s about the King of Atlantis trying to adjust to the human world. But then I didn’t avert my eyes from the show description in time to see it’s actually about a family of surfers.
Recap
The opening credits are of people surfing, so I doubt the King of Atlantis is going to show up. There is no shortage of names I recognize: Willie Garson, Bruce Greenwood, Luis Guzman, Luke Perry, and writer Zach Whedon.
A tractor on a beach drives by a man and woman who are asleep. The man is furious at the tractor driver for nearly running him over. This is followed by a montage of other people: a man and woman lying in bed together, the woman asleep, the man staring at the ceiling in doubt; a woman asleep in her car; a man and his pet bird; and finally, Willie Garson waking up to discover he’s getting a blow job.
Later that morning, the couple on the beach watch the surfers in the ocean; another woman is videotaping the surfers, and she makes a phone call to somebody who’s also in bed.
Four people (two men, two women) get into a van and drive to some run-down area. They are being watched through surveillance cameras by a man and a woman in a shop. Through their conversation I learn that guy #1 is named John and guy #2 is named Shawn. Shawn demands that John and Shawn’s girlfriend change out of their wetsuits. Ah, a mistake: guy #2 is actually named Butchie; Shawn is his girlfriend. Everyone seems very nervous for some reason.
The woman with the camera has followed them, still filming. Nearby are two bald men, one of whom is played by Paul Ben Victor.
The reason for the nervousness is explained: Shawn is meeting her mother, who isn’t happy that she’s with Butchie so they’re going to pretend she’s dating John instead. But Butchie is the one taking her to meet her mother, while John needs to stay behind to talk to someone named Linc.
When they meet Shawn’s mother, however, I discover I’ve got two things wrong: Shawn and Butchie are siblings, not boyfriend and girlfriend; and Shawn (who finally speaks) has a distinctly male voice.
John, staying behind to talk to Linc Stark, is speaking in tongues. My father’s words are coming through me, he says. And they’re coming through Cass’s camera (the woman who is still filming all of this). I don’t understand a word, but that’s okay because Linc doesn’t understand a word either. Is John supposed to be Jesus?1
“We’re coming 9/11/14,” John says. Maybe he’s not Jesus. Is he an alien?
The man and the woman watching all of this through the surveillance video – actually the live feed from Cass’s camera – are riveted. Linc and John seem unconcerned that they are being filmed, and John continues speaking in riddles: his father’s father is named Father, and his father’s father’s words are “listen to your father”.
Meanwhile, Shaunie has been taken to his/her grandparents. S/he wants to move out of his/her grandparents’ house and move in instead with his/her dad and with John. The grandparents wonder what they did wrong that s/he doesn’t love them anymore, and after s/he leaves his/her grandfather becomes so distraught that he begins floating in midair.
I am starting to think that all of these people: John, Shaunie, Shaunie’s entire family, maybe even the two bald guys, are aliens. Maybe only Cass and Linc are human?
The big mystery here that the characters are trying to solve is where Shaunie and John went when they disappeared in a previous episode. Butchie interrogates Shaunie, but s/he has no memory other than “the waves were good” and “they want to sponsor us”. Shaunie points up, saying they went to Cincinnati. Butchie objects: Cincinnati is on the Earth’s surface.
But it’s certain now. John is an alien. There’s something going to happen on September 11, 2014, that he either wants to warn them about or scare them about or prevent.
Meanwhile, Mitch (Shaunie and Butchie’s grandfather) is refusing to come down from the ceiling. The main characters all congregate in the house to beg him to either come down or tell them “where he went”, but he refuses to do either.
Linc has hit upon a solution: We will hold a parade on the beach! (Don’t ask me how this solves anything, I have no idea where the crazy train is headed. Maybe he wants to draw attention to John’s prophecy?) He has trouble convincing the others until John begins quoting things that he can’t possibly know that other characters have said.
Cass is still videotaping of everything that’s going on; Paul Ben Victor isn’t happy about it, but nobody else seems to notice or care.
Linc and John and Butchie decide they need to buy an El Camino for the parade, so they go to a car dealership whose owner speaks almost as strangely as John does. Is everyone in this universe an alien?
Afterwards, Butchie is on his way back to his grandparents’, but he encounters some news reporters who have heard that “Shaun Yost has been found”. He has to go around the block and come in through the back yard to avoid them.
Meanwhile the two bald guys are having some side plot involving a younger guy named Moana and a taxi driver nicknamed “The Chinaman” who apparently used to help Moana break into houses. I don’t understand a word of that.
Eventually, the main characters – Butchie, Shaunie, John, Linc – somehow convince Mitch to stop floating in midair. They get in their cars and drive to the parade, which is being held in honor of something called “Stinkweed”. Whatever Stinkweed is, it was founded by Linc Stark.
Linc makes an announcement to the public designed to sweep everything supernatural under the rug. Did you guys think Shaun really died and came back to life? Nah, he just sprained his neck; we made it all up as a publicity stunt. (Shaun is finally identified as male – and is Butchie’s son, not brother.) Did you think John and Shaun disappeared and we needed everyone to help find them? Nah, they just left for a while and we decided to use it to draw attention. That strange camouflage wetsuit they’re wearing? Nah, it’s just the new design for our surfing… company… thing.
And yeah, I, Linc Stark, did all this publicity stuff, but the Yost family doesn’t want me to do it anymore, so I’m stepping down and they’re taking over the surfing… company… thing.
There’s a closing voiceover in which John lists what ends up happening in the future of a bunch of side characters, most of whom I’ve barely even met. And he says some more stuff about his father that, like the rest of the episode, goes right over my head.
Unresolved questions
What is going to happen on September 11, 2014?
What are Cass and the couple in the restaurant going to do with the videotape?
Who is sponsoring Shaun, and to do what?
Who or what is John?
Who is John’s father?
And of course the biggest question of all:
What the hell is going on?
Ratings
These ratings evaluate the finale-of-the-week from an angle that its writers never intended: how well it works as an individual episode watched in isolation. The analysis accompanying each rating is written from that point of view as well.
The ratings do not necessarily apply to the episode if it is watched in the proper context. And it should go without saying that none of them apply to the series as a whole, which I have not watched.
Story: 2/10. There wasn’t much in the way of plot. John and Shaunie return from outer space with an incomprehensible prophecy, and the Yost family are trying to understand it and keep it secret. Only one actual event happens, Linc stepping down as CEO of Stinkweed.
Writing: N/A. There is no way I can fairly assess the writing of this episode. I understood none of it! While I could tell that a lot of it was deliberately opaque, even the parts that were meant to be understood I couldn’t understand at all. Theoretically John was the only person who was supposed to be speaking in tongues, but I couldn’t understand anything said by the guy from the car dealership, or by Shaunie’s grandparents, or by the homosexual couple that included Luis Guzman.
Production: 5/10. I have a lot of praise for the actor who played John. His mannerisms, the way he repeated the words and phrases and actions of the people around him, created something fascinating that I could watch for hours. I still have no freaking idea what he was doing, but he did it well. Unfortunately I think other aspects of the production, in particular the camera work, were lacking.
Characterization: 7/10. There were a lot of really interesting characters in this episode. I didn’t get to know any of them but John, but there was enough there that I can give this a high score. The ending scene, with the man in the glasses talking to his dead wife, was very effective even as I failed to understand it. Luis Guzman’s partner discussing the sex life of his teddy bears? Paul Ben Victor’s partner being homophobic despite whatever was going on in his own relationship with Paul (this is going to be very embarrassing if it turns out they’re brothers)? The used car salesman ranting about how many cars he has? Cass videotaping everybody, and the discussions held by the couple watching the live feed? A lot of effort was put in to make these people unique and interesting, and I was able to appreciate it even as I failed to understand a word of it.
Accessibility: 0/10. None whatsoever. I’ve never before given a 0 rating for accessibility (or its previous name, clarity), but this episode definitely deserves it. I have no idea what was happening.
I should emphasize, before I dive into the extensive list of things I didn’t understand, that the accessibility rating is not a measure of episode quality. The finale of John From Cincinnati was utterly incomprehensible for somebody who hasn’t watched the rest of the series, but that in no way indicates whether the episode was good or bad.
Okay. Deep breath:
Is John an alien? Is the used car salesman? Is Shaunie? Is Shaunie’s grandfather, Mitch? If he isn’t, how is Mitch able to float in midair? Why is floating in midair how he reacts to being distraught? What does he think it will help? How did the rest of the family convince him to stop?
Why is Cass filming everything? Why does nobody except Paul Ben-Victor react to her presence? Is she invisible to everyone but him?2 If the Yost family wants to keep John’s alien nature secret why aren’t they stopping her from filming, or at least holding their conversations with John in a lockd room? Do they know she’s narrowcasting it to the couple in the shop? Who are they? What are they planning on doing with the footage?
What is Stinkweed and why does everybody in this town/city/beach area care so much about it? Do they really care so much that a rumor that Shaun died and came back to life is going to be immediately and widely believed, that it needs to be explicitly discredited? What is so strange about the pattern on the wetsuits that Linc was so desperate to come up with a public explanation for it? Don’t they just look like wetsuits with a pattern on them?
What were the two bald guys up to? Who are Moana and the Chinaman? Who is Willie Garson’s character and what if anything was his connection to the rest of the plot?
Why was Shaunie living at his grandparents’? Why did he decide now to move out? Why are his father and John living together, especially as John’s only been around (according to the episode title) for nine days, during at least one of which he had disappeared?
Closure: 3/10. It didn’t feel at all like the writers intended this to be the final episode; I’m guessing the show was canceled unexpectedly. We got no answers as to who John is, where he and Shaunie went, or what the prophecy is about. The plotline with the two bald guys, and with Cass’s videotaping everything, were left dangling. John’s voiceover at the end saying what happened to various minor characters was clearly added last-minute after cancellation and before broadcast.
Linc stepping down as CEO of Stinkweed was treated as a momentous event – and I will trust the writers that it is one, because damned if I have any idea – so this made sense as a season finale. But it wasn’t meant to close out the series.
Do I want to watch the series now?
Geez. How the heck should I know? I understand as much about this series now as I did before I ever heard of it.
After the episode, it occurred to me that “John from Cincinnati” has the initials JFC.
Linc says he doesn’t know what John is talking about when John mentions Cass’s camera. But Cass is right there filming him when he says this. Maybe she is invisible?